AD&D1e N2: The Forest Oracle

I have already forgotten what exactly led me to discovering N2: The Forest Oracle (C. Smith, 1984).  Perhaps it was a post on G+.  Perhaps in a moment of idle curiosity I googled "worst D&D module ever."  Whatever it was, I soon found my way to a 2015 review from the blog "Merric's Musings," which judging by its position on google has been read far more than the adventure itself.  Intrigued, I quickly acquired it at used-bin price (isn't life in the 21st Century nice) and read through the 32-adventure myself.

An unearthed gem!

Note that I refer to it as an adventure and not a module.  I have a very specific definition in mind when I talk about modules.  Modules are location-based, "modular" as the name implies: scenarios which can be dropped into the midst of a larger campaign setting or world with a minimum of modification.  They center around a specific, fixed place where adventure happens.  B1: In Search of the Unknown, Maze of the Blue Medusa; these are modules.  The Forest Oracle, second in the N-for-Novice series of "introductory" adventures published by TSR in the first half of the 80s, is most definitely not that. In fairness it does supply deliberately generic, somewhat colorless locations that could be slipped easily into just about any fairly recognizable world of Medievalesque Fantasy.  The content, however, more resembles one of Paizo's adventure paths, where player-characters are led through an unfurling novelesque plot, setpiece-by-prefab setpiece.

And boy, what a plot do we get here.

As said, I no longer in fact recall what led me to discover N2.  I downloaded it a while ago and spent my free time over the last few days savoring and digesting the contents.  As you probably surmised already, it doesn't enjoy the highest reputation.  The words "worst ever" have not infrequently been used and can be found on its product pages for Amazon, DrivethruRPG, and in any forum thread where it has ever been discussed.  Does "The Forest Oracle" deserve this opprobrium?

Honestly, people have probably been too nice to it.  What we have here is the kind of generic "FantasyQuest" adventure you'd see in a TV show about people playing Dungeons & Dragons, such as Community or Dexter's Lab.  A flavorless farming village is imperiled by a gypsy's curse: the PCs are asked to trek into the mysterious ancient woods immediately adjacent, and acquire the aid of a wise-but-shy Order of Druids.  Orcs and goblins will be fought.  Abandoned dwarf tunnels will be explored.  At various points a nymph and a dryad will be rescued.  For the adventure's climax, the PCs free a noble Pegasus from captivity.  A hack TV writer with a condescending attitude couldn't cook up a more boiler-plate D&D adventure on their best day.  No dragons actually show up (thankfully), but they are alluded to via rumor and local geography.

*Cue embarrassing falsetto* "Hold, Crunk! Thou shalt go.... no farther!"

 It should be emphasized in fairness that the adventure is intended to guide a group of tender first-timers into the world of Fantasy Roleplaying Games, hence both the heavy-handed Structured Funtime and the no doubt intended Boilerplate Fantasy feel of its environs.  Personally I feel newbies to our hobby deserve better---to see all the wild weirdness it can offer early and often---but nevermind.  The product exists, and in fact I'm not here merely to critique it.

Therefore one more thing before we move to the meat of this post.  Not only is N2 intent upon being a thoroughly colorless exercise, but it doesn't even execute its modest aims competently.  When I say the writing is incompetent, I mean basic things an editor should have caught: like inconsistently referring to the number of towers in a ruin, or the number of buildings in an encampment.  Information is staggered between mind-numbing amounts of padding.  Sentence structure is aggressively passive and frequently unclear.  Read excerpts from any forum post about this thing and you'll see what I mean.  The infamous bandits who are not singing and most definitely not joking as they march along the roadway are merely representative of the adventure's scatterbrained style.

by Adrian Smith - hope you really enjoy fighting these li'l guys!

 So, N2: an embarrassing footnote in the litany of products from TSR's Silver Age.  Deservedly forgotten.  Why bring it up again?

I'm gonna adapt this fucker to Pathfinder and make it into a runnable pointcrawl.

Yes, I am an idiot.  It's my blog, shut up.


 1. Setting Thanks to its utterly flavorless nature, N2 can be easily slotted into just about any Medievalesque fantasy setting that A) has orcs and goblins ; B) has some kind of vaguely nature-priesty class.  Seriously; at least the bar for entry on this fucker is about as low as you can go.


I'm going to be adapting it more specifically to the broader world of my Eastwylde/Kingdom of Pellegrine setting, although such bits will be quite easy to sand off if you'd like to use my modified version for your own Pathfinder games (........who'm I kidding?)

1a - Name Game First we'll need to modify some of the uh, decidedly embarrassing names which the adventure graces us with.  I mean I appreciate anything that avoids awkward fantasy names that nobody will remember like Zin-Shalas or whatever, but seriously.... The Greate Olde Woode?  With three extra e's?  Come on, man.

"The Downes."  Farming village where the adventure begins.  Described as occupying a valley surrounded by a ring of hills which..... wouldn't be downes, to my understanding.  Downes are hills, specifically low and somewhat terraced chalk hills, if we're going to try and generalize from the actual specific downes that exist in real-world England.   So we'll rename the hamlet as Downesvale. 

"The Greate Olde Woode."  Yeah.... we'll just say it's a very large stand of old-growth oak and elm known as The Oldwood.  Only minimally logged over the centuries and still wild at its heart, thanks to the longstanding protection of a Druidic Order. 

"Quiet Lake."  Not terrible but not quite enough specificity to satisfy Y.T.  Let's rename it Lake Quietus.


"Wild River." (At least they didn't call it Wilde River?)  In keeping with the Merrie Olde Englande theme I'll call it The Floodwald. 

"Order of the Golden Bough" - The Druids allegedly at the center of this story who actually don't play much part in it.  The Frazier reference is a little cute for me---I'll just call them The Order of the Oaken Bough. 

WORRHHH, DRUIDS!  You knew this was coming.

Names fine as-is: Old/New Wilderness Road, Old North Road, The Wildwood Inn (I don't like it but it's acceptable), Dragonteeth Mountains (ditto), Castle Karn. 

----
That out of the way, Downesvale and the adjacent forest will fit nicely into the northern quadrant of Pellegrine's Red March---a long strip of mostly-flat, agricultural land that forms a web of backwater baronies and crumbling castles.  Downesvale is a relatively new settlement, only about 60 years old, holding some 30 households with a total population of around 150.  It is sheltered by a cradle of low hills called The Downes which fan across the west, while to the east sprawls the ancient forest known as Oldwood, out of the southern half of which erupts the high stony peaks known as The Dragonteeth Mountains (not true mountains, but such as the folk of relatively flat Pellegrine would know them).

Downesvale is technically in the bailiwick of one Sheriff Conrad, who answers to Sir Terrance (known universally as Sir Terry), Lord of Pillowe.   Sir Terry's smiling portrait hangs in Downesvale's solitary tavern, The Ploughman, but few locals could even name the gentleman in the frame and taxes have been infrequently levied to say the least.  Oldwood and Downesvale lie on the very edge of the territory of Pillowe and are easily forgotten.  

You get exactly no points for guessing which Bond plays Sir Terry.

Since time out of mind, the Order of the Oaken Bough have called The Oldwood their home.  They kept to themselves, and were generous in using their power to keep the surrounding lands fruitful, thus down to the end of Feudal Times local authorities let them alone.  In modern times, the Order has retreated deeper into the forest and are rarely seen.  It's said that in the heart of the Order's sacred grove is a well which can foretell the future, tended by a sisterhood of oracles.  Folk from every quarter of the forest environs make pilgrimage, particularly in Spring, to have their future foretold or seek the oracle's advice.

2. Pointcrawl Map

BEHOLD! 

Feast your eyes on my definitely legible and very clear pointcrawl map.

Distance not marked because it doesn't matter.  The entire thing is like a three day walk across.

I...... think I forgot to mark the last point in this pointcrawl.  Erps. :-X

01. Hamlet of Downsvale, Farmhouses 
----Fight: Brigands----
02. Abandoned logging camp, brigands' lair
03. Lake Quietus
04. Wildwood Inn
05. Dragonteeth Caves, West Entrance
06. Dragonteeth Caves, East Entrance; Dryad's Tree
----Fight: Giant sawtooth frogs----
07. Floodwald ropeway
08. Castle Karn
09. Druids' Dun, House of the Oracle
----Fight: Bugbear raiders---
10.  Crowfolk Camp
----Fight: Lynx
11. Peryton Nest
12. Olot's Lair

 ---
It's late and I'm losing professionalism fast.  More of this project later, perhaps.

1d12 Hirelings

1. Esquival the Freshmaker - Obese baker with dreams of being a knight.  Surprisingly tough, but gets winded easy, -4 Svs vs Exhaustion from travel.  Treat as always carrying a Medium Load.  Excellent income means he comes with a coat of scales (let out to acccomodate his bulk, only +3 armor bonus), longsword, sturdy wood shield and enough supplies for a week in the wilds.  Pay as soldier. 

2. Zelga the Begger - Former Guild-Thief.  Maimed (foot sawed off) as punishment for prior thefts.  Reduced to begging in the town square.  Speed reduced to 20ft and -2 AC but Skill Focus in Perception/Disable Device. Starts out with no gear but cloak, crutch and beggar's bowl.  She will accept the lowest level of pay despite her skills. 

3. Pol - A draper's son, claims to be 17 but clearly younger.  Ran away or disowned.  Literate and excellent with figures.  Useless at physical labor.  Offers himself as a clerk (skilled pay) but will take job as linkboy.  Has a dagger, pot of tar and a few torches. 

4. The Dragon - Fire-swallower.  This former circus performer is well-muscled but recalcitrant.  Has an oroborous tattoo over chest and stomach.  Lost his taste buds long ago.   Does not start with gear, shirt or shoes.  Can be hired as unskilled labor (in which case he won't fight) or as soldier (skilled brawler but will eventually demand equipment). 

5. Jon the Bargeman - Tall and hiresut with knotty, powerful muscles.  His broken bargepole makes for a quarterstaff.  No one his age should be as strong as he is.  Sharp-eyed, rarely speaks.  Hire as labor or combatant--will do either without complaint. Mourning his wife.  15% chance every day he departs without a word. 

6. Brian the Chicken-Infested Peasant - A former crofter, Brian suffers from a curse that causes chickens to spontaneously appear inside his clothing.  This is definitely uncomfortable for him (the chickens claw, bite and often immediately shit) but a boon to any party that will adopt him.  Brian produces 1d4 chickens every day unless he is naked or constantly observed (the chickens only appear when no one's looking).  The fowl are violent-tempered and immediately try to escape.   Brian dearly wants the money to pay for a Remove Curse and might do anything to get it.   He has no equipment.

7. Llewyn of Blauders - Llewyn is a skilled rogue who was born into a minor religious sect.  A total pacifist, he refuses to carry weapons or participate in combat even to save himself.  Nonetheless Llewyn is an excellent acrobat, trap-disabler and has a talent for making himself scarce.   Pay as an expert hireling with hazard pay.  He has leather armor, thieves' tools, a bag of marbles and a collapsible 10-foot pole. 

8. Arecilia Dantwidge - This pale, death-obsessed young woman is a noble scion and terrible poet looking for "experience."  She wants to witness combat, poke dead bodies, and examine monsters up close.  She will make a game effort at being a hireling but has no idea how to do basic things like start a fire, dig a pit, etc., tires easily.  Can be a clerk, linkgirl or unskilled labor.  Has a wardrobe worth 35 gp, purse of 100 gp and set of masterwork daggers.  A gang of bounty hunters hired by her parents will arrive to collect her in 2d4 weeks. 

9. Vaughn Meachum - An ex-miner and mason with many useful skills.  Stonecunning as a dwarf, able to recognize metal veins, coal seams etc.  Starts with a shovel, which he wields with deadly skill, and a manual of architecture and engineering.  He is in fact a budding revolutionary and will attempt to secretly organize the party's hirelings against them. 

10. Chauncey St. Claire and His Amazing Pigs - This swineherd (Com3, Skill Focus Handle Animal) has a staff, wallet and three puckish pigs he has drilled to near-perfection.  The pigs are watchier than watchdogs, excellent at foraging and can fight viciously as a coordinated team.  Give them 8 tricks, teamwork feats, alertness and trapsense +3.   Chauncey will expect to be treated as a full party member and also a stream of constant flattery to his handsome and clever animals.  He will not brook sending his pigs alone into danger.  The animals actually know no loyalty and will will eat anyone left alone and vulnerable, including Chauncey. 

11. Ebard the Touched - Once a teller of false fortunes and seller of fake relics, Ebard has since become known as a wild-eyed mountebank.  A wallet of food, some torches and a ratty old robe are all he brings.  He claims that dreams and visions have summoned him to the deep chambers of the earth, there to sublime his mortal existence before an immensity he calls The Caller in Dreams.  He will perform any task so long as a party takes him into the deeps beneath the earth.  Once below he manifests supernatural abilities--either give him the Oracle class or Sanctuary and Know Direction as (Sp)s.   Ebard will continue to serve the party faithfully until an encounter with a Gelatinous Cube, Ochre Jelly or other ooze---whereon he will charge forth to be devoured by the thing, crying "as I dreamed!  I go to join the world-mind!  This mortality is over!" 

12. Jack Ville - The son of poor but proud farriers, this well-muscled youth desires experience and to collect some interesting stories before settling down.  No equipment and knows none but his father's trade, but will shoulder his burden however tasked.  The joke with this guy is he is exactly what he appears to be.  See how long it takes for your players destroy his innocence, for science.

Three NPC Adventuring Parties

Shameful Editorial Admission: I have no idea if I would ever fully use the Van Hoeks as written below in my own campaign.  I think my campaign is (or was, before we paused it for Maze of the Blue Medusa) approaching a point where I really might.  However "haha you ran over a land mine now you are dead" is always a tricky thing to drop onto a player.  On the other hand, my players were truly embracing the Combat as War philosophy; I think it not impossible that if I ever do drop the Van Hoeks on their heads it won't take them long to realize exactly what's happening...

1. The Lucky Bobs

Sir Robert Strong (LN Human Fighter [Free-Hand Fighter] 4)
Big, bluff, blonde-bearded; lowlander scots accent. Wears a dashing long green-plaid surcoat and yellow-blue tabard with gold boar ensign, carries a poleaxe and heirloom knight's sword with greater magic weapon +3 etched onto the steel (doesn't have the UMD to use it).  Haunted by an ancestral ghost, which he wrongly believes is a guardian spirit.  The sly poltergeist wants him to die so it can wreak havoc freely.

Build Notes: Balances roles between tying up opponents while fighting one-handed or charging/tripping with poleaxe.  Potions of Cat's Grace, Agile Breastplate important to build.

Maester Taft (TN Human Alchemist 4)
Long-faced alchemist who makes a show of never laughing at Sir Bob's jokes.  Wants to open an apothecary and retire quietly somewhere.  Will stay faithful til the end. 

Build Notes:  Infusion discovery allows him to share his extracts with party members (as potions).  Doesn't like to use his bombs.  After buffing allies he drinks a Dex mutagen and plonks away from a safe distance with crossbow.


Tul-Uq (TN Orc Fighter [Border Defender] 3)
This orc of the "tamed" Northern Nation wears a heavy gold icon of Beatrix around his neck.  Always an opportunity for an impromptu prayer; very eager to show his piety.  Actually a nervous coward.  Hates fairies and sees their workings everywhere.

Build Notes: Heavy shield and bastard sword.  As a Border Defender he's the party anchor, meant to lock down mobile/aggressive opponents.  Too bad he'll always be the first to run.


Bryce Peppers, Bachelor Arcanis (CN Human Wizard 3)
Cocky duelist wizard, always combing his coiffed hair, collar perpetually popped.  Wears three big medallions won in school dueling competitions.   Autonarrates in combat.  Carries a double wheellock pistol and knows how to use it.  Hates dirt.

Build Notes: Key spells Mage Armor, True Strike, Ear-Piercing Scream and Spray of Ice (as Burning Hands but cold damage).  Will have scrolls of Mage Armor and True Strike ready for his allies.

Accompanied By: 1d4+1 hirelings (porters, groom; Bryce has got light covered) and pack-goat.  1d3 mercenaries (guarding supplies/loot only).  Well-treated and reasonably loyal though there is some racism towards the orc.

What's the Deal?
The Lucky Bobs are out for gold and glory but they're pretty much as nice and reasonable a band of tomb-raiders as you'll ever meet.  They might be willing to divide areas of the dungeon, trade info or even combine wilderness camps for protection.  If the PCs act sketchy, Tul-Uq may force a confrontation out of sheer nerves.  The poltergeist will repeatedly try to spook the PCs into attacking and sabotage Sir Bob only at the most critical moment.

*

 2. The Murakami Brothers

Hideo Murakami (LN Human Samurai [Sword Saint] 5)
Handsome, expressionless and impatient.  The elder Murakami is ruthless and bad-tempered but doesn't kill casually.   Loves the oracle, Chizu.

Build notes:  Offense.  Built to charge and power attack, spring back and do it again.  

Maseo Murakami (LN Human Samurai [Yojimbo] 4) 
The more heavily- armored younger sibling, still wears his green goblin faceplate into battle.  Loves the oracle, Chizu.

Build notes:  Defense.  Class ability lets him help his brother evade blows.  Stays positioned to keep enemies off Hideo's flanks.  

Chizu (TN Human Oracle 3)
Ex-prostitute, taken along with the Murakami brothers.  They have her gratitude but not her love.  She's blind but can augur success via a bundle of sticks, and talks with birds.  The brothers never do anything without consulting her, but usually they already know the answer they want to hear.

Accompanied by: Both Samurai have one personal servant apiece to act as porter, messenger and dogsbody.  1d4+2 well-trained local mercenaries (lvl 3 warriors, 2:1 spearmen:archers; one out of six will be a lvl 3 fighter).  The mercenaries have been ordered to protect Chizu at all costs, but their loyalty to a triad of foreigners is low.

What's the Deal? In the land of their birth, the brothers were simple warrior-retainers locked into an ironclad feudal code.  In the "new" land, they are free to be explorers, entrepreneurs and plunder as they will.  They always fight as a pair, watching each other's flanks and charging opponents as one.  They both love the beautiful, blind augur named Chizu and know one day it will be the death of one of them.  If encountered they'll be unfriendly and try to warn the PCs off their claim, but won't attack first--at least not with Chizu in harm's way. 

*

3. The Van Hoek Brothers

It's pronounced "heck."

"Captain" Janek Van Hoek (Human Gunslinger 7)
The elder and the brains.  Ranks in Use Magic Device, crafting traps and mundane bombs (although he's no alchemist).   Wields a snaphance rifle and two double-barreled wheellock pistols, all masterwork, all with True Strike inscribed on their plating.  Carries four additional pistols besides.   At point blank range, he always makes called shots for the head.

"Sir" Bodvyjn Van Hoek (Human Fighter [Armor Master] 5)
He's a big guy and he doesn't talk much.  Carries a hollow-hilted greatsword with Oil of Greater Magic Weapon +2 on a trigger release, main potions are Bear's Endurance and False Life, wears full plate.  He is largely there to be big and obvious and quasi-invulnerable while his brother shoots preferably from somewhere hidden. 

+ One Trap Guy, one Talky Guy, at least one (preferably two) Wilderness Guys.   These will be 1st to 3rd level but may be equipped as one level higher. 

Accompanied By: As many men as they can hire.  Draining the local hireling pool is one of their established tactics.  They'll arrive with at least 18 armed mercenaries: twelve with spears and six with crossbow-blunderbuss combiweapons (made by Janek himself), one out of six being a third-level serjeant who will have a healing potion and two acid-bombs.  These eighteen men think since Janek personally equipped and trained them he wouldn't just throw away their lives.  They're wrong.

What's the Deal?
The Van Hoeks aren't just murderhobos.  They're the murderhobos.  They're the guys who keep an ear to the grapevine to hear tell of someone somewhere making a big score, then swoop in and blast anyone between them and fast lucre.

They're not civilized enough to be called a mafia, but you couldn't say they were just brutes either.  Just enough low cunning and secondhand polish to pose as civilized gentlemen in short bursts. They're relentless, highly and particularly skilled.  At once calculating, sometimes insanely bold, spiteful, will casually endure brutal privation, and move and fortify with the manic speed of army ants playing minecraft.

In short, they're PCs.

You're not really playing NPC Adventurers.  You're playing a pair of rival PCs who treat your setting just like the coldest power gamer ever did.  I don't know why I made them Dutch but I apologize to the good people of the Netherlands.

Use your cunning, and every book about bush warfare, trench warfare, frontier living, caving, and real life criminal organizations you ever read.   These guys are the Final Boss of mundane human enemies who use quasi-realistic weaponry and tactics and aren't wizards or dragons or whatever-the-shit.  If your players manage to beat these guys you should never feel the need to have them fight a squad of goons with billhooks and blunderbusses in a muddy trench ever again.

The Van Hoeks aren't meant to be a purely "random" encounter exactly.  They shouldn't enter the campaign until the PCs have cleared or at least hauled a good amount of wealth out of at least one dungeon, dealt with at least 2-3 rival adventuring parties and have a good idea of what sort of tactics are effective in your campaign.  When the Van Hoeks arrive they'll know the PCs by reputation and already be maneuvering to have the advantage when they're confronted.

Think of it as an all-points attack on your PCs.  You have, loosely, three fronts: The Town (social), the Wilderness (strategic), the Dungeon (tactical).   The Van Hoeks will take time (no more than a few days) to lie low and study their adversaries, listen to scuttlebutt, catch sight of them via telescope, whatever.  Figure out what the weakest link in your PCs' operation is and hit it.  Allies, contacts or patrons in the town might be bribed, subverted or otherwise neutralized.  Sabotage supplies, animals, hirelings.  Anybody they can dig up who has beef with the PCs, any advantage they can deprive them of, any likely place they can begin setting up an ambush.

Be an asshole, but play within the rules.  I would give the Van Hoeks a maximum amount of disposable cash equal to the gear value of a lvl 5 + a lvl 7 Heroic NPC (roughly 10,000 gp)---but I wouldn't give them more than whatever the total amount of cash value the PCs extracted from their last dungeon was.  That should still be in the ballpark of a couple thousand GP minimum--plenty for bombs, bullets, bags of sand, caltrops, alchemical gadgets, precious combat potions, and the wages of a small army of goons, hirelings and agents.

*

They won't take your loved ones hostage (they assume any worthy adversary must be as ruthless as themselves), they won't introduce themselves by stepping into the light dramatically and they will never willingly speak more than a sentence without intermediaries.  It's unlikely the players will ever learn their names.  These are not colorful archenemies to be placed like set dressing in your PCs' path.  They are PC Killers.

Three-quarters cover; elevation; difficult terrain; called shots; True Strike; Darkness; Mirror Image; acid flasks; alchemist's fire; barricades, berms, cave-ins and pit-falls; area-denial, kiting, sniping; it's a simple formula.  Repeat until your players are beaten or limp away and leave the treasure behind.   After all, the Van Hoeks are there for the money.

If you somehow get to Close Quarters Combat with them (within 80' and a relatively unimpeded area of movement) you've pretty much already won.  Janek might--with amped Init, a True Strike called shot and quickdraw--bag one or two of the squishier PCs with headshots before the Action Economy Death Conga brings him down.  Bodvyjn will fight on forlornly and silently, a failed final sentinel.   Asking for quarter would never occur to either of them.
 

Blogs Are Where the Good Stuff Is

 EDIT:  Also, need to say somewhere: I went to see The Shape of Water last night, and it was pretty alright.  Probably won't watch it ever again but it's Guillermo del Toro doing his Fairy Tale + Melodrama thing again so you probably know if you like that kind of thing by now.  8/10, solid stuff, a good case for making Fishman an RCC in your campaign.

Every other week I DM a game of Pathfinder, the more fancily-dressed close cousin of D&D Vers. 3.5.  This Sunday will see the fifth session of my friends playing a run-through of Maze of the Blue Medusa, which interrupted our ongoing Wilderness Sandbox-cum-Power Politics campaign, dubbed The Eastwylde.  I don't know how long we will be playing Maze--my original idea was to run it until the players discovered the Megadungeon's exitway, which as I had correctly guessed took three sessions.  I then gave them the option of going back to Eastwylde, but having just endured a near-TPK they were "hot" to get back into the thick of the module and defeat it.  So, the game remains Medusa Maze for the forseeable future.

I wouldn't be running Medusa Maze at all if I hadn't spent the last two years ensconced in the world of OSR (or DIY if you prefer) Blogdom: a world which holds, in the words of my once-favorite webcomics author, "a catacomb so deep there ain't no goodbyes."  A glance to the right at my list of linked blogs provides a sampler of the biggest and best among those I read but there's always more; more creativity popping off like fireworks in this community at a superior level of average quality and originality towards anything else.  No one has ever written a line for Paizo who was fit to wash Arnold K's socks, seriously--or if they had such talent they had to suppress it for corporately-mandated Ikea prose describing the Warmed-Over Lovecraft/Burroughs Do Final Fantasy that is the World of Golarion.

Which brings me colliding into the contradiction at the heart of this blog.  Why am I breaking my back and consequently flopping like a fish to give the tone and pitch of all this rad, mad OSR stuff to my Pathfinder game when I could just, uh.... play AD&D or OD&D or any of the inspired descendants like ACKS and LotP?  I've sounded out my friends on this and they are in fact down to play AD&D or even Three Brown Books if it's what I want; two years behind the screen has earned me the benefit of the doubt at least I guess.

As I've covered elsewhere, I think 3.5 has  certain virtues of its own that aren't to be taken lightly.   And as much as I'm not a fan of most of Pathfinder's "improvements," at its core it is still that game.  There's also the practical bit, that it is basically the game I've played for 17 years.  I know the environment/light rules, and the elevation/crouching/prone/one-half vs three-quarters cover rules, and the rules for grenadelike weapons and even what to do if you want your character to grab an opponent.  That's not nothin'!   A good crunchy combat system is maybe worth the tradeoff of each Player Character being a super-tough battleship of interlocking systems such that PC death becomes a rare calamity. 

But the fact remains all the interesting ideas are in that OSR/DIY orbit.  I mean, have you ever visited Paizo's official forum?  GitP?  The Gaming Den?  By and large dead zones of the imagination.  Efficient counsel if you come to them with a specific rules question, but like, where are the ideas?  Why doesn't 3.5 have a Zak S and False Patrick making some really off the wall shit?  What is so deadening when the PCs can cast light at will and magic missile  three times per day?  Malnourished hacks have managed to write adventures for Superman for 80 years with a better success rate than you'd think so the answer is definitely not "power level."

 One thing I am not is a causologist.  I just made that word up.  What I mean is I don't think the fact that there aren't (or I haven't seen) any really inspired dungeons or settings or whatever coming out for 3.5/Pathfinder right now means there must be some failing inherent to that system; the simplest explanation may be no one's done it yet because no one's tried or the right tryer has yet to come along.  Heck, I could be that tryer.  I won't, I've got other things to do; in theory though, I could.

For the last couple weeks my out-of-session "homework" as DM has simply been to translate Zak and Patrick's combined madness into the rote numbers of a Pathfinder-compatible dungeon: tweaking and making a few small changes (like in room 206 I added an earth floor with a multitude of mushrooms, and I heavily altered room 1.  That's it).  In lieu of doing a lot of creative heavy lifting I have given my fumbling graphite drawings a little more exercise.  I've discovered actually filling in the background with blackness (as you'd see wandering in dark corridors by torchlight) will elevate a rude sketch quite a bit.  I've largely backed away from a lot of the original module's lethality and acquiesced to Pathfinder's base assumption that everything  can be resisted/evaded with a successful saving throw.  Even if the danger's not as high the Maze is still a weird, wonderful place my players have enjoyed nosing around in.  And they haven't even met any of the Torne Sisters yet, each of whom I want to introduce with a BIG (14x11") cool drawing.

 Since I began writing this post I have forgotten what the point I was coming to actually was.  This happens A LOT and is a big reason I blog infrequently.  That means I probably already made the point I wanted to so let's leave off here.